struggle

A year has come and gone

and I am now down 43 pounds.  I have been on another plateau of sorts for a while, but it is ok.  I have finally figured out that this is going to be a long journey and although I may stick around at a number a while, I won’t be there for ever.  I am officially off ALL meds with the exception of my allergy tablet that I take nightly.   My gynecologist was very happy about the weight loss at my yearly check up.   I started out wearing a TIGHT size 20 jeans.  I am now in a 12-14 depending on the maker and the cut.  (yay!)    I want to get down to at least a 10.

Some questions that I have been asked recently that I thought you might like to see the answers to:

1. Was it worth it?   Unequivocally YES.  I would do it again tomorrow.  I know that 43 lbs is not the huge amount of weight that I had hoped to lose by this time, but it is still a significant amount of weight.  I have SO much more energy now, and to be honest am saving a TON of money on not only food but also on medicine co payments every month!  It took me 15 years to gain to over 250 lbs, so I suppose that taking a couple of years to get rid of it isn’t such a bad deal.

2. Is it easy?  NO – I still struggle every day with the head hunger.  I am getting better – I think my mind is finally accepting that bread, potatoes, rice and other assorted starches will not be tolerated.  I know pretty much the things that I probably will never eat again.  And it’s ok.  I am finding things that take the place of those foods and I’m healthier for the substitutions.

3. Will I ever have the band removed?  NO, the only thing that could convince me to remove it is if something goes horribly wrong – which I do NOT expect to ever happen.  This baby will be in there until the end.

4. Do you still have problems with the band?  Yes and no.  The problems I have are from not listening to my body.  IF I try to eat in a hurry, too early in the day, don’t chew properly, or eat things that I know good and well won’t go down, I end up in the bathroom.

My band is as tight as my MD will allow.  I have 9.5 cc in a 11 cc band.  I did this for a couple of reasons.  The major one being that  I push the limits with what I can eat.  This is my way of keeping myself from eating the starches and carbs.  With the band this tight, they will NOT go through.  If I order chicken fingers, I have to pick the breading off or I can’t eat them.   So now I just get grilled chicken and I’m good.   When I hit goal weight I *may* have a tiny bit taken out, but I don’t expect to make any changes for a long time.

If YOU have any questions – please comment or email them to me at tricia.gilliland@gmail.com and I’ll try to post the answers here.

My journey so far in photos – yes I realize nearly every one is me riding.  Evidently that is the only time anyone can take a photo of me cause I usually run from the camera!  LOL

Sept 2011

Oct 2011

Jan 23, 2012

March 11, 2012

May 2012

August 2012

Sept 30, 2012

sept 30 2012

Oct 3, 2012

 

November 11, 2012

Thanksgiving 2012

Dec 9, 2012

Categories: bariatric, celebrate, cooking, diabetes, diet, food, healthy, high blood pressure, impatient, journal, lap band, life, musings, Obesity, personal, protein, realize band, struggle, stubborn, thoughts, weight loss | 2 Comments

Seem to have hit another plateau of sorts

 

I have noticed over the years that I seem to have a problem every fall.  I call it my “Bear Gene”.  My body tells me that I MUST EAT EAT EAT.  I am always hungry and eating and sleeping are both always on my mind or sitting on the fringe of my thoughts waiting to jump back to the fore front.   Is there a scientific explanation to this?  I don’t know – what I do know is it IS real and it does happen to me EVERY single year for as long as I can remember.    Add into this equation that I have been battling a cold/sinus infection for the last 2 weeks, and you can easily see that the weight loss has stopped.  I actually gained back 2 pounds.    It came to mind this morning that maybe it is my body’s way of trying to maintain temperature since the temperature outdoors is dropping.   Perhaps I should drink more warm things, decaf coffee and herbal teas – things of that sort.  I do love a good coffee with some of the flavored creamer in the mornings.  Does anyone have suggestions of herbal teas that are good?  I’ve never been a hot tea drinker, after all I was raised and live in Alabama – home of Sweet Iced Tea.  *wink*

 

 

 

Categories: atkins, bariatric, diet, food, healthy, journal, lap band, life, musings, Obesity, personal, protein, realize band, struggle, stubborn, thoughts, weight loss | Leave a comment

A few more gone

The funniest thing….   I know that I have lost weight,   BUT I didn’t realize just how much I have lost.     Before surgery size 18-20 was getting tight.  Hell, who am I kidding?  Before surgery I was close to popping some of my clothes,  and lately everything seems to have gotten REALLY big on me…..   but I’m too cheap thrifty to buy more clothes.   I Was OH SO SURPRISED last week when I went clothes shopping.   I checked out Cato’s selection of dressy type fall things, and picked several size 16 and XL’s to try on.   Ummmm – NO.  They were too big.  I ended up with size 14’s fitting a little loose on bottom, a couple of large size tops and 1 XL that is made to be more fitted.    Seems that the girls aren’t going anywhere fast (dang it!), but the rest of me seems to be shrinking.

As far as how the band is going, I have had good days and bad days.  I have discovered that mornings are NOT good for eating.  Warm liquids are best (coffee with flavored cream please!),  a protein shake – either Atkins or Ensure,  followed by nuts around 10 am ( love Wasabi Almonds and Dill Pickle sunflower seeds – don’t knock them till you try them!).  Lunch is usually some  fruit or tuna or egg salad – depends on how my tummy feels and how hungry I am.  Afternoon snack of more nuts or jerky.  By about 5 or 6 I’m ready to eat in the more traditional sense.  I try to get a lot of protein in during the evening.  The band seems looser in the later hours of the day – not sure why that is, I’m sure there is a medical explanation.

Anyway, that’s where I am right now.  For the past week or so I’m dropping an average of 3/4 to 1.5 pound a day.  I’ll take it!

 

 

Categories: atkins, bariatric, celebrate, diet, eggs, food, healthy, impatient, journal, lap band, life, liquid diet, musings, Obesity, personal, protein, realize band, soup, struggle, stubborn, weight loss | Leave a comment

Drumroll please

 

 

As of this morning, I am down a total of  37 pounds!!!!!   251 starting weight / 214 this morning.    I am so freaking excited I can hardly contain myself!!!!!     I know I keep saying this, but I haven’t been this thin in over 10 years!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: bariatric, celebrate, diet, healthy, journal, lap band, life, musings, Obesity, personal, realize band, struggle, stubborn, thoughts, weight loss | 1 Comment

Will I EVER learn???

One of my favorite things to eat has always been crescent rolls – cooked a bit crispy on the outside and tender flaky on the inside.  Hubby also likes them, so I decided to cook some for dinner.   And – then- actually thought I could eat one KNOWING full well that I have 9.5cc in this band and that this band does NOT DO BREAD.   hahahahahahaha

No it wasn’t funny.  Believe it or not, I actually got most of it down, ate the crispy flaky outside first and was slow and careful.  Waited 10 minutes and no sign of sticking or distress.   Then got brave stupid and ate the innards.    It was really flaky and doughy – just like I love it……   Somebody slap me PLEASE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then the love story turned UGLY – violently ugly…  *sigh*    Why on earth I thought I could get away with that I don’t understand.  What can’t go down MUST come up, and come up it did……  ugh

 

I haven’t gotten on the scales today.  I’ll do that in the morning and let ya know the results.

I also put on a bathing suit today for the first time in probably 10 years.  Of course I wasn’t pleased with how I looked, but I must say I wasn’t nearly as Shamu like as I feared I would be.  🙂

NO you  don’t get a pic of me in a bathing suit either! LOL  As my friend Kathy says, I couldn’t afford to pay for your therapy.   I finally got the pond water and critters drained out of Jim’s pool.  Cleaned it well, refilled, tested, shocked, chlorinated, algaecide, softener and now it’s ready to swim.  Chris and I had a nice swim this evening.  It was nice to be together without the TV, phone, or any other people around and be able to just enjoy being playful.  🙂

 

Later y’all!

 

Categories: bariatric, diet, food, healthy, impatient, journal, lap band, life, musings, Obesity, personal, realize band, struggle, stubborn, thoughts, weight loss, whine | Leave a comment

WOW

What a difference this fill has made!!!  I am down 10 lbs in 1 week. At this rate, I’ll be skinny in no time!  LOL

I know it’s not healthy to loose this fast, so no lectures, ok?  But it sure is nice to be surprised pleasantly every time I step on the scales.  I am eating literally next to nothing.  I just -am-not-hungry- , and that’s a GREAT thing.  🙂   I AM drinking Ensure protein shakes – milk chocolate please, and they are quite tasty.  Still getting my vitamins every morning, so I think I’m doing ok.   I have lost 33% of the weight I want to lose.  1/3 of the way there!!!!  Whoop!

I go back in September, and *may* or may not let them take some out.  Probably not.  LOL   It is SO nice to be finally going in the right direction again.  I was all but ready to give up.   Won’t make it in time to wear a bikini this summer, but maybe next (YEAH RIGHT!!  LOL).

OH YEAH – almost forgot to tell you this – I am 100% off blood pressure meds – YEE HAW!  That’s $90 in my pocket a month that I’m not spending on meds!  cha ching!  Camping money, tack money, and later on NEW WARDROBE money!!  For now I’ll just wear everything baggy.

Came back to add this.  I promised when I started this blog to tell it all – good, bad and ugly.  Well the bad/ugly side of my current situation is that I’m having to learn HOW to eat and drink all over yet again.  I MUST take teeny bits of food or liquid in at a time.   I came inside yesterday and was very thirsty and forgot about the tightness of the band.  Turned up an Orange Vitamin water (my favorite drink of all time) and chugged it.  Instantaneous eject is all I am going to say.  It had to go somewhere and it couldn’t go down fast enough so it came back up.  Out my nose, mouth and it even felt like it was coming out my ears!  LOL  Not really, but it was pretty explosive.    As long as I take my time and lots of it, everything is ok, but the second I try to eat like I have for 43 years, the band says “Hey sister, you AIN’T eating like that anymore” and rejects whatever I’m trying to cram down my gullet…..  That can be painful and unpleasant.

BUT, I knew it wasn’t going to be all roses, sunshine and fairy farts when I signed up for this.

 

Looking back over the past 8 months, I only have one regret and that is not being more adamant at the Dr office that I wanted more fluid.   I let them sort of guide me because I thought they ‘knew best’.  I have come to realize that this band is NOT a one size/fill fits all and that *I* know how I feel and am the one who lives with this band every day, not the people in the Dr office.

So now I’m HAPPY again.  I’m back on my path.

Categories: bariatric, healthy, high blood pressure, impatient, journal, lap band, life, Obesity, personal, protein, realize band, struggle, stubborn, thoughts | 2 Comments

The Verdict….

Not slipped and as far as they can tell from the barium swallow, no leakage.

The barium wasn’t fun, but it was not too bad either.  Just stood there in front of an xray machine drinking chalky stuff mixed with some fruity liquid while the Xray Dr watched.  No biggie.

He said he could see the band and it is in place.  He also said the fluid was going through much faster than he expected it to go with the band in place.  SO – over to Dr Schmitt office to find out the final verdict.

They did an ultrasound and said everything looked good there.  Then the nurse practitioner came in and drew out all the fluid.  I couldn’t see the syringe to tell exactly how much fluid measured, but she said it had 8cc.  I was supposed to have 8.5cc.  She made the comment that IF the band was leaking, they would expect to see very little to no fluid in the band.  She said it is possible that some ‘may’ have evaporated.  (I don’t know if I buy that or not).  She put in all new fluid, and I did see the measurement on it 9.5cc.  She was very worried that it would now be too tight.  I am to be really careful this weekend and have only liquids for a day or two then soft stuff in teeny amounts.

On the way home I was thinking and wondering if maybe they had made a mistake in writing down how much they have given me over time.   But it still doesn’t explain why I had really good restriction after the last fill and then lately have felt almost none.  It doesn’t make sense to me.

Right now I’m sipping a protein shake and I can tell a good difference.  I am over 8 months into this and really thought that by now would be so much farther along.   I am hoping that it is right this time.  My plan for now is to really be careful with my protein and make sure I get the 60 gms that I need (I’ve been lax about that), and as soon as it cools down start back hitting the track in the evenings.

 

Categories: bariatric, diet, healthy, journal, lap band, liquid diet, musings, Obesity, personal, protein, realize band, struggle, stubborn, thoughts, weight loss, whine | Leave a comment

It’s been a month

Since I’ve been here.  I’ve been in a bit of a funk diet wise.  Yes, I’m still eating healthy for the most part and with the days being longer, I’m getting a good bit more exercise.  Most nights I get home from work and don’t even go in the house until almost dark.  I’ve been riding the horses and camping a lot – all of which leaves almost NO down time to blog or read or even surf the internet much any more.  I couldn’t tell you the last time I sat down to just watch a TV show!  lol

On the weight loss front, I was at a stand still for 3 weeks.  Didn’t go up or down by even a half pound.  It was extremely frustrating.  Then when I quit stressing about it, I dropped 4 lbs in 2 days.  Yes that’s right between this past Friday morning and Sunday morning I dropped 4.  Yes I got on and off and on and off that scale (which mocks me mercilessly), it said the same thing every time.  I even drug hubby in and made him get on just to be SURE that it wasn’t broken.  (digital scale) It’s not broken, it’s telling the truth!  🙂

And hubby it seems has dropped from a 36 inch waist down to a 32 in two months.   *sigh*  It is just NOT fair!!

I am starting to see the weight loss in little areas that are completely unexpected.  When riding Saturday, it felt like my riding boots were flopping around on my feet.  I am down a full pants size and wearing things that I haven’t worn in a long time.  Looks like both hubby and I will need a new wardrobe soon!

 

 

Me and Dusty tackling the rock fields last Saturday at the Walls of Jericho

 

 

 

me and Patches at Bankhead National Forest – 03/31/12

 

 

Feb 26  Bankhead

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: bariatric, diet, exercise, healthy, high blood pressure, hypertension, impatient, journal, lap band, life, musings, Obesity, personal, realize band, struggle, stubborn, thoughts, weight loss | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

1/5th

It just hit me out of the blue today that I am 1/5 of the way to my goal weight of 150.  Thinking about it like that makes it seem SO much closer and more attainable.  When you think about losing 100 or even 80 lbs – it seems overwhelming.  Well in my mind it does anyway.

 

 

So the next goal is the next 20 to bring me to 2/5 of the way there.   🙂

 

 

Categories: bariatric, diet, journal, lap band, life, struggle, stubborn, thoughts | 2 Comments

Oh dear….

I haven’t been here in like forever…..  I apologize for my lack of participation in the cyber blogging/writing world.  Life has been extremely busy for me and sometimes I honestly expect to meet myself coming around a corner!

The good news is that since my last visit to Dr Schmitt’s office on Feb 6, I have lost a total of 8 lbs.  Not too shabby I suppose.  I have been REALLY trying to eat right.  So I guess it is working.  I begged the nurse to give me just a little more fluid but she said if it ain’t broke she isn’t fixing it…….  grrrrrrr……  I’m gonna have to work a LOT harder if I’m going to get into a shorts or swimsuit body by summer.    *sigh*   I guess the best things in life are worth working for, eh?

I am eating a lot more fruit and raw veggies.  I haven’t had beef in – well I don’t remember the last time I had beef – I have been substituting ground turkey for ground beef in our veggie soup.  I have been eating chicken, and an occasional egg, sometimes a little fish or shrimp.  I had fish tacos at a local restaurant a few weeks back and LOVED LOVED LOVED them.   I am not eating bread any more with the exception of some cracker things called Wasa bread.  One or two of those a day is satisfying my carb craving.  Lunch every day is a green salad with cubed grilled chicken and fruit.  Oh yeah, I’ve been eating blue berries every day too.  I expect any morning to get up and see my skin turning Smurf blue!

The bad news is that I’ve now lost enough that my underwear is starting to sag on me and I go around pulling up my jeans.  It is terribly irritating, and I can’t ever think to put a belt on.  Of course I could get some thongs and be in style with my pants drooping past my butt!

 

Errrr, maybe NOT!!!!!

 

It won’t be long and I’ll be looking for another size smaller clothes – I guess that’s a good thing, lol

 

Anyway, peace love and healthy living to you all!

 

 

Categories: atkins, bariatric, diet, exercise, healthy, high blood pressure, impatient, journal, lap band, life, musings, Obesity, personal, realize band, struggle, stubborn, thoughts, weight loss | 4 Comments

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.